BLOG 19 THE RELATIONSHIP FACTOR

The thrill of meeting someone special is such an exciting time. From dating to marriage, being in a relationship and having someone by your side is an incredible experience. But sometimes it isn’t just butterflies you get in your stomach, it might be an added few pounds too. The dynamics of being in a relationship certainly impact our fitness journeys; sometimes for the better and sometimes negatively. You might bring out the best in each other, but not always in terms of calorie consumption.

When we live the single life, a can of soup will suffice for dinner. When we start to date either casually or become more serious with someone, going out for meals is a traditional setting for encounters. The extra cocktails and desserts per week start to add up. Skipping the gym for a date with potential “Mr. or Mrs. Right” becomes a common occurrence. We are blinded by the chance of falling in love. As time goes on and we have now been with someone for an extended period of time, we start to get comfortable. Then a year later, we find that pants are fitter tighter and our cheeks are a little fuller. Where has time gone?? So many calories in so little time. To put it best, “The oddest part about it, though, is that it’s not the sad kind of weight gain often brought on by stress and depression; it’s the happy kind. It’s like the people who this ailment plagues gain ten pounds of pure happiness (usually in the midsection)” (http://elitedaily.com/life/7-reasons-why-your-relationship-is-making-you-fat).

There are a number of reasons relationships can lead to weight gain. We get comfortable and we don’t need to attract anyone new so now we wear sweats, no makeup, and have an extra slice of pizza or two. When we are with someone who compliments us constantly on how we look, we don’t seem to value anyone else’s opinion but that of our significant other. Eating becomes a popular activity among the two of you so, “Once you enter that super comfortable stage in the relationship in which you can be disgusting and bloated in front of each other, vanity is out the window” (http://elitedaily.com/life/7-reasons-why-your-relationship-is-making-you-fat/). And then you fall into the trap of watching movies and staying at home together on weekends instead of being out and about together. It’s easy to isolate when you feel like no one else in the world currently matters. 

The breakup can either be motivating to self-improve and move forward or it can lead to depression and finding comfort in food.

On the other hand this can happen: Eventually one person decides they want to get out of this sedentary funk and get healthy. This presents a whole new world of complications to the relationships. Are both people going to be on board?? Will we work out together or separate?? What happens when one person quits?? Some partners become envious or jealous and don’t want their significant other to change. One person might be the “feeder” who says phrases like, “Oh come on having a couple cookies isn’t going to kill you” or “We never eat pizza anymore. Come on just this once”. “Feeders” love to cook or find pleasure in making a good meal for their spouse, despite the new eating habits they are trying to sustain.

My husband and I are complete opposites, but our relationships works because we don’t force one another to eat or change who we are. He likes fast food and carbs, and I am fortunate and disciplined enough to not want to indulge in these even if they are right in front of me. He doesn’t try to get me have a burrito with him, and maybe it’s the trainer in me, but we always eat at places or shop according to what works for both of us. I don’t have to eat the hot wings he made, and he doesn’t have to have the salad I made or ordered.

As always, we are tested by the choices we have to make. Ultimately, when we want to be successful on our fitness journeys we have to do this for ourselves. When we take care of ourselves, we can better take care of others. Oh the things we do for love.