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291 RELATIONSHIPS & YOUR FITNESS JOURNEY
Whatever
the goal(s) of your fitness journey, the adventure is mental and emotional. To
succeed, certain behaviors, priorities, and choices do change. These new habits
also affect our spouse, partner, best friend, siblings, parents, and so on. Our
attempt to change means what was done in the past will not continue. With this
change in ourselves, we find change in the dynamics of our relationships. We
want people on our “good side” as we fight this fight. As we assert ourselves
about what we eat, how we spend our time, and with the incorporation of
exercise, not everyone is as supportive or understanding as we wish they would
be. I’m sure you can relate to one or more the following scenarios.
We want
the people in our lives to be cheerleaders, not coaches. If we wanted a trainer
or coach, we would hire one. Picking apart what we are doing wrong is not the
feedback we want to hear.
We want
our network to participate. If we are dining out, let’s go somewhere friendly
to healthy eating. Eat a clean dinner with me, don’t make we cook separate
every time. It wouldn’t hurt you to hit the gym with me.
We want
the person to listen, not judge. This is an emotional challenge to us, so
sometimes we need to just hash out a bad decision. We don’t need criticism,
advice, or empathy, just acknowledgment that they are aware we are trying and
mama said there would be days like this.
We want
to do non-food friendly hang outs. We don’t have to meet for lunch or a drink
every time we see each other.
We
don’t want to be tempted. Please don’t offer bites or nibbles. Please don’t try
to convince me it’s okay this one time.
When
you see me exercise at home or the gym, I don’t need your input. I don’t need
you to laugh or question me.
We do
not want them to be the food police. Support is great but this isn’t your role.
I will let you know if I need law enforcement to catch me.
Communication
is the key. We can’t expect our relationships to know how we are feeling each
moment. It’s like when someone asks you if you are okay, you say you are fine,
and then you explode at them. We can’t expect more, less, or really anything
from someone close to us unless we openly and honestly express the message.
This is not to say it will be understood, but when you assert your goals to
others, you are also boosting your confidence that this journey is happening
and you are doing it. As part of your journey, change the way you communicate
to others as well. You will benefit physically and mentally from this.
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